


just want you to hold me

by PJOfanatix



Series: Arthur Returns [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Banter, Canon Compliant, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Humor, M/M, Modern Era, Post-Canon, Sharing a Bed, THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED, domestic humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 07:13:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28684629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PJOfanatix/pseuds/PJOfanatix
Summary: Merlin should have known better than to spend the 21st century in a single bedroom apartment near Avalon. Now Arthur’s back and Merlin doesn't know what to do.Basically a “there was only one bed” fic because there can never be too many of those.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: Arthur Returns [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2102493
Comments: 14
Kudos: 211





	just want you to hold me

**Author's Note:**

> I was very tempted to make the title "just hold me" but thought it to be too angsty oops. Title is from the wonderful song "Lately" by Shapes & Colors (it has all the Merthur feels). Special thanks to my friend for beta-ing this.

Merlin stared out the window, taking in the bright stars shining throughout the night sky. It had been a long time since he had been able to appreciate the beauty of the world with such peace in his heart. He felt tranquil, content, _complete_. Arthur had returned. He had risen from Lake Avalon after so incredibly long.

And now he was sitting on Merlin’s couch watching him curiously.

“It’s late,” Merlin realized, looking at the time. “Sorry, you probably wanted to get to bed.”

Arthur shrugged. “It’s alright. Where are your guest chambers?”

“Oh- well you see…” Merlin’s face warmed as he cursed himself for not realizing such a simple thing. “This is a one bedroom apartment. There aren’t any guest chambers.”

Arthur’s eyes flickered from the couch back to Merlin’s face as if seriously pondering something. Merlin knew his king, and he knew the last thing Arthur wanted was to sleep on the couch.

“I can sleep on the couch and you can take the bed,” Merlin offered.

“No!” Arthur said sharply. “I mean, this is your home. It’s not fair to make you sleep on the couch.”

Merlin furrowed his eyebrows. “Well then, what do you propose?”

Arthur stood up and pointed at a door at the end of the small hallway. “Are those your chambers?”

Merlin nodded, following Arthur as he walked down the hallway and into Merlin’s bedroom. Arthur opened the door and stared at the bed, crossing his arms.

“It’s a large bed,” he stated.

Merlin raised an eyebrow, not sure where Arthur was going with this. “I suppose it is.”

“If we sleep on opposite ends of it,” Arthur started slowly. “It should be fine.”

Was Arthur joking? What happened to the man who was ready to face any manner of evil but refused to give Merlin a hug? Merlin studied Arthur’s expression, but there was no sign of any humor. If anything, he seemed a bit hesitant. Possibly nervous.

“It should be fine,” Merlin echoed.

Merlin immediately made a beeline to the right side of the bed, smiling slightly at an old memory of Arthur mentioning he always slept on the left. He slipped under the covers and pulled the blanket up to his chin, eyes scanning the room until he spotted Arthur.

Arthur, who was standing at the corner of the room and taking his shirt off.

Merlin ducked his head and slid further under the covers to hide his burning face. Why was he being so anxious? He knew Arthur slept shirtless. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen his body either – he used to prepare Arthur’s baths for goodness sake.

For some reason things felt different in the modern day.

When he felt a weight settle at the opposite side of the bed, Merlin inched closer to his edge of the mattress, trying to ignore the inviting warmth radiating from Arthur’s body not too far from his own. He steeled himself by closing his eyes and murmured a quick spell to turn the lights off.

“Goodnight Arthur.”

“Goodnight Merlin.”

*~*~*~*~*

For the past couple days, Merlin had consistently woken sprawled across an empty bed. Arthur seemed to keep getting up before Merlin, which was honestly a huge surprise considering how much he had wanted a lie-in back in Camelot. Merlin wondered if there was maybe some kind of jet lag between Avalon and the real world.

“Are you not sleeping well?” Merlin finally asked from the attached bathroom that night as Arthur lay in the bed.

Arthur’s face reddened and he didn’t meet Merlin’s eyes. “No I’m sleeping fine,” he said. “The cars just keep waking me up in the morning.”

Merlin gestured towards the large window. “I can put a spell to soundproof it.”

Arthur shook his head. “I’ll get used to it,” he assured. “Come to bed, I’m tired.”

Merlin bit his lip, pushing away all the thoughts that came flooding from hearing Arthur saying that phrase so casually. He had tried to bury most of his thoughts about Arthur in a non-platonic manner long ago, but if that simple phrase didn’t dig some of those hopes up…

Merlin really needed to find a two bedroom apartment soon. He stared up at the ceiling as he dropped onto the right side of the bed. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could take this.

The next morning, Merlin awoke to bright sunlight filtering through the window and prying his eyes open. He groaned quietly, squeezing his eyes in a futile attempt to block out the light. For most intents and purposes, Merlin loved the giant window on the left side of his bedroom, but it did make it very difficult to sleep longer in the mornings.

Wait… the left side?

Suddenly, all Merlin’s sleepiness disappeared as his eyes shot open and he scanned the room. Sure enough, he was facing the large window from the left side of the bed, but for the first morning in the past week, he was not alone in the bed. Lying right next to him with Merlin’s arms wrapped around his shirtless torso was none other than Arthur Pendragon.

Merlin froze. How many of the past mornings had Arthur woken up like this? Merlin knew he rolled around in his sleep, but he didn’t realize he rolled around _that_ much. He tried to slowly pull his arms away from Arthur, but the man let out a small grunt and tugged on Merlin’s hands, holding him in place.

Merlin didn’t know what to do. He threw his head back and cursed whatever unknown force had made him like this before craning to see the clock on his nightstand. It was still fairly early. Perhaps he could fall back asleep.

Just as he lay back, attempting to let sleep overtake him again, Merlin felt Arthur shift in his arms. He immediately relaxed his muscles and closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep. Arthur gently moved Merlin’s arms and stood up. After Arthur’s hands softly brushed back Merlin’s hair and adjusted his comforter, Merlin heard the bathroom door shut closed. He opened his eyes again, letting out a long sigh.

So much for only thinking of Arthur platonically. Merlin wasn’t sure that people who were just friends cuddled together every night.

Arthur didn’t seem to mind. But maybe he was just being polite. Merlin didn’t know and he couldn’t take that risk. It was an invasion of Arthur’s personal space and he had to put a stop to it. He would do something that night. He needed to.

*~*~*~*~*

Merlin considered himself lucky it was a Saturday morning and he didn’t have work because he had spent the all of breakfast fretting over what to do. Arthur had been acting completely normally, which further confirmed his suspicions that this had been going on for quite a while. It was a shame he had only just found out about it, because now Merlin couldn’t meet Arthur’s eyes without immediately remembering the feeling of his arms around Arthur.

Screw the dollophead for not giving Merlin enough hugs in Camelot. This is what he got. Now Merlin’s subconscious was taking all the hugs it could get.

Merlin had to admit, it was quite a nice feeling. He could have probably lain there forever if he hadn’t been so shocked by it all. It felt warm and comforting, like soft chocolate-chip cookies right out of the oven or sitting by the cozy fireplace on a cold winter’s night. It felt like home.

“What’s gotten into you?” Arthur asked, breaking Merlin out of his trance. Merlin glanced down at his oatmeal and back at Arthur, realizing he had been stirring his food into a mush for the past ten minutes. “You haven’t said a word all morning. As much as I enjoy the silence, there’s only so long I can stare into empty space before I get bored, Merlin. Where’s your mindless chatter?”

“Sorry,” Merlin apologized genuinely. He made a mental note to teach Arthur how to use the TV. “Didn’t get much sleep last night.”

“It’s the cars, isn’t it?” Arthur asked, tapping a finger to his chin. “Whoever invented those awful things made a terrible mistake.”

Merlin laughed. “I’ve spent 200 years with cars, Arthur. Just was busy thinking.”

“There’s the problem. It’s okay, Merlin, it’s always difficult to begin doing things you don’t do that often.”

Merlin shot him a look, but Arthur only grinned. A couple minutes later, he went to the kitchen and returned with a steaming mug, setting it on the table in front of Merlin.

“What’s this?” Merlin asked, raising an eyebrow.

Arthur nervously twisted his fingers. “Tea. You always drink it when you’re sleepy in the morning, right?”

Merlin broke into a wide smile. “What’s gotten into _you_?” he teased. “Since when have you been this nice?”

Arthur’s eyes darkened and he took a seat next to Merlin. “I was thinking too. I don’t know if I treated you as well as I should have back in Camelot,” he said slowly. “I was young and naïve and you were so much more than just a servant, Merlin, you were my friend. You- you waited for over a thousand years.” Arthur put his head in his hands and gripped his hair. “I can’t even fathom living for that long, and to do it all alone-”

“Arthur. Look at me.” Merlin put his hand on Arthur’s shoulder, pausing until Arthur tentatively lifted his chin up. “You’re my king. I already told you. I’m happy to be your servant until the day I die.”

Arthur scoffed. “You’re immortal, Merlin. You’re not going to die.”

Merlin tilted his head towards the deadly sword casually propped against the living room wall. “Your sword can kill me. Actually kill me. After everything is done this time, I’m done too,” he said tiredly. Arthur opened his mouth in protest but Merlin held a hand up. “You said it yourself. I’ve lived for 1500 years. Far longer than any person needs to, and long enough to experience all I’ve wanted. I’m so grateful that you’re here, Arthur, and I’m ready to live another life with you, but once you’re gone I’m going too.”

“Fine,” Arthur relented. “But you have to promise me two things. One, understand we aren’t in Camelot anymore. I’m not your king and you’re not my servant. And, considering you don’t even have guest chambers, this is most certainly not a castle. We’re friends. Got it?”

Merlin nodded, returning Arthur’s smile. “The second thing?”

“Stop talking about us dying,” Arthur said, punching Merlin’s shoulder. “It’s incredibly depressing. I literally just came back from the dead.”

“Sounds like a deal.” Merlin chuckled. “If we’re friends, does that mean I can order you around now?”

“You can certainly try,” Arthur challenged, his eyes glinting with humor.

That was when Merlin knew. He knew what he had to do, especially since he and Arthur were now formally friends. He needed to respect Arthur as much as Arthur had promised to respect him, and if that meant using magic to prevent some unintentional cuddling, so be it.

That night, Merlin put a magical barrier down the center of the bed, separating himself and Arthur. Hopefully, it would do the trick.

*~*~*~*~*

The barrier did work. Once again Merlin woke up first, this time safely on the right side of the bed far from Arthur. He sat up and ran a hand through his hair, pushing away all thoughts of the previous morning. He had done what he needed to do. There was no going back now.

The day passed fairly normally. Merlin even dared to say it was fun. He had spent the whole afternoon teaching Arthur how to use the TV, specifically Netflix. After hours of complaining about how infuriatingly confusing the remote was, he seemed to finally be making progress. He hadn’t thrown the remote across the room yet, so that was good enough for Merlin.

Merlin soon found himself in bed again, another day having gone by quickly. He was relaxing into his pillow with his arms behind his head when Arthur cleared his throat.

“Did you do something different last night?”

The question was so quiet, Merlin was barely sure he had heard it right. “Did I do something different?” he repeated.

Arthur shifted to face Merlin. “Yeah. With the bed.”

Merlin’s heartbeat quickened. “No,” he lied. “I don’t think so.”

“Hm.” Arthur stretched his arms out, and before Merlin could stop him, slammed his right hand into the magical barrier. Merlin grimaced as Arthur shot up and pointed wildly.

“You did do something!” Arthur accused. “You put some magical thing- some barrier!”

Merlin waved a hand and the barrier glowed before disappearing. “I had to do something!” he defended. His face was definitely on fire now, he could feel it. “I kept waking up on your side of the bed while… _cuddling_ with you.”

Arthur gave him a hurt look and Merlin lowered his voice, talking faster now.

“It’s not that I didn’t want to. It was nice – really nice actually. I enjoyed it but it was an invasion of your personal space and you said we were friends so I didn’t want to do anything to mess that up.”

Arthur didn’t say anything. He just stood there. Merlin didn’t know what else to say so he crawled back into the bed, burying himself under the blankets and turning away from Arthur.

The silence was deafening. Merlin felt Arthur also get back into bed before finally speaking.

“You said you enjoyed it?” he asked softly.

Merlin curled up on his side of the bed. “Yes.”

The blankets rustled as Arthur turned and scooted across the bed. He pressed his chest against Merlin’s back and pulled him into his arms, his chin against the crook of Merlin’s neck. Merlin could feel Arthur’s heart beating in pace with his own.

“Me too,” Arthur whispered. His lips brushed against Merlin’s ear as he spoke making him shiver. “Don’t be an idiot. Go to sleep.”

For once, Merlin was happy to oblige.


End file.
